Almost time for…bikinis?

I like to think I’m relatively well versed when it comes to interior design, but when you start talking fashion (which I think is quite similar) I lose all confidence and tend to wander hopelessly into my “safe zone” of the LL Bean flannel shirt department.  Seriously.  I love flannel shirts (and LL Bean!). Of course, everything has a time and a place and, generally speaking, I feel quite lost in the world of clothes.  Ask me to decorate a room – no problem.  Ask me to construct an outfit – I get a little shaky.  Don’t get me wrong, I’m not walking around in sweatsuits with elastic ankles (in public anyway), but I’ll never be able to combine patterns and accessories like her or her.

This is where you all come in.  I need your opinion.  What do you all think of these new bikinis that seem to be saturating the market this season?  At first, I thought they looked funny.  Then, I thought they offered a refreshing amount of coverage.  I think I’d feel like a queen in one! As long as I didn’t feel like I was wearing a diaper, anyway.

I mean seriously! My irrationally large fear of my bathing suit bottoms falling down when I come out of the water on a wakeboard would disappear.  There’s no way those bottoms are going ANYWHERE.  The fact that I have yet to actually make it out of the water on a wakeboard is a story for a different day.  But maybe these would give me the motivation to finally do it.  That’s got to be a good thing, right?

But now back to my original point – does it look a little like a diaper? Or is that just me and really it’s a gorgeous retro bathing suit?  Also, you might ask if I want more coverage, why not just go with a one piece? There are certainly a lot of cute ones out there these days.  And my answer would be that I have an abnormally long torso, so one pieces don’t exactly fit me very well. But if you know of anyone other than Speedo who makes extra-long one pieces, let me know!

My final question – is it going to make my butt look huuuuge? I mean, that’s a lot of fabric around probably the widest part of my body.  I guess I’d try to steer clear of horizontal stripes, if you know what I mean.

What do you think? Retro bikini bottoms  – a do or a diaper?